Worst Lies Told By My Kids!

I get that all kids lie I believe it’s an impulse to spit out the first thing that comes to their little brains to “not get in trouble.”  What’s worse, is the older they get, the lies seem to get worse and worse.

It’s to the point where my kids don’t even get punished for lying, they’re punished for telling such HORRIBLE LIES!  Each and every time we go through the lie lecture, I remind them they’re better off telling the truth because YOUR LIES SUCK!

My 5 year old is more convincing than the older two, it’s times where even she tries to help them avoid more trouble by pointing out the obvious flaws in their stories.

For some humor here are some of my favorite ‘LIES” that I just had to laugh at and walk away.

1. My 10 year old, who has no job, has not earned any chore money, and has been in severe trouble in the past for stealing $50 worth of $1 gold coins for pretzels and water, was at the money laundering scheme again.

I’m in Vegas, my oldest brother stays with him.  During a routine check in call, I ask, “Where are you two?” I was told they were at 7-Eleven, my son was in the store buying something.  I then ask, “Where did he get money from?” My brother is like I don’t know, he said he found it in the floor.

Now a little history, just before we left, I knocked the change sorter in our foyer in the floor (because someone was tampering with it) and it broke.  I told my son to pick up the money put it on the table and throw the dispenser in the trash.

Now I demand to speak to my son, his response to why he’s in the 7-eleven spending like he has a job is, I found the money in my drawer. (BLANK STARE). Now, this is the second time in the past few weeks, I ask him where he get money from with no job, and he decides to use this MAGIC MONEY MAKING DRAWER  story YET AGAIN!  WHY do boys not forward think, why do I have to waste my time explaining to him how his story is not only a lie, but a horrible lie that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, NOT EVEN TO HIS 5 YEAR OLD SISTER LISTENING!

Then he goes on to try and defend the freaking lie, and INSIST this is where the money came from!
The 5 year old tells him, “How did it get there? We’re in the same room and I don’t have money in my drawers” (DEAD AND EXITS STAGE LEFT).

My oldest most worst lie revolves around gatorade, and usually its the ten year old who stomach gets him in trouble. Let me give you the background…

My 10 year-old was playing baseball and my oldest decided to opt out.  So I go grocery shopping, and buy a LARGE ASSORTMENT of beverages and gatorades for my youngest for baseball only.  I explain to BOTH OF THEM, the gatorade is only for him for sports and not be be drunk for ANY OTHER REASON.  Immediately after this conversation, I take my youngest to baseball practice, he takes a gatorade with him.  I leave the oldest in the house BY HIMSELF.

Come back home, and my youngest proceeds to report a gatorade is missing.  Now I’m not sure if he is covering his butt, or simply trying to get his brother in trouble, BUT EVERYONE KNOWS who drank the gatorade.

I go and ask my son WHY did you DELIBERATELY AND DEFIANTLY drink the gatorade darn near immediately after you were instructed not to?  His reply was, “I didn’t drink it.” I mean he was insistent, rambling, angry no one believes him and so forth.

Here comes the 5 year old, “Well, you were the only one here so who else did it?”  Again, Exits stage left.  I swear I have a ghost in my house that I need to track down so I can claim on my taxes, because these kids of mine never do anything.  Yet ironically, the 5 year old is just as baffled with these lame excuses as the ADULTS in the house!

The 5 year-old don’t even bother to lie, she just comes clean and takes her punishment on the chin.  She gets upset initially, but realizes she was wrong and is accepting of whatever is to come her way, now she just say, “I’m going to go to my room”.  WHY can’t it be that simple and easy with my boys??

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