Category: Mommy Randomness

PATIENCE!!!!!

My oldest son was scheduled to have a leg lengthening surgery and was at his pre-op appointment.  He was anxious, nervous, asking a ZILLION QUESTIONS, and just being a pure pain in the butt.  After listening to my son and I CALMLY go back and forth, the nurse replied, “You have a lot of patience.”

My prayers had been answered, all the tests I had been given, I finally passed.

Having children early, I feel the biggest hurdle for mom and child is the lack of experience with EVERYTHING, especially rearing a child.

While I was always very mature for my age, looking back at my mommy hood journey, I wish I was more patient.

I knew I didn’t have patience and prayed for it often. Someone once told me, “you are not given patience, but opportunities to practice.” My mom would always tell me to stop worrying about things that won’t “make or break you.”  A little before my mom fell ill did this click!

Everything had to be in order, what they wore, how they looked, if it matched, cleanliness blah blah blah.

While these things are still important, the bar for the standards have been dropped so low, I think it’s just a pole on the floor!

I have 2 group of kids in my home.

The 2 that are old enough to know better, do better, and to an extent provide basic care (hygiene) for themselves.

AND

The 2 that are my responsibility because they are too young to know better.

My oldest 2 have been lectured and taught about what and what not to do with their clothes and body.  My SO and his mother go CRAZY when my kids leave the house with wrinkled clothes, short sleeve shirt (DEAD WINTER), unbrushed hair and teeth, mixed match socks (probably dirty), no coat (just a hoddie despite having several coats), and no hat (despite having several ).  Not only do they do all of this, they give you a “WHAT?” expression on their face when questioned…Wheres’s your coat?..Did you brush your teeth?….Did you comb your hair….etc..etc, as if WE ARE CRAZY!

I just look at them and shake my head. My feathers don’t get ruffled ONE. BIT.

Unless we’re going somewhere important, I could give a RATS BEHIND what those knuckleheads look like.  Anyone that knows me and who opinion matters, KNOW my kids have EVERYTHING they could possibly need, want, AND MORE to be presentable.  So with the latest trends of not wearing a coat but just a hoodie going on, or wearing socks that don’t match, I don’t scream and holler at them. I simply take them somewhere COLD with their hoodie.  While I have my coat, hat, scarf, gloves, and layered outfit…and take my bitter sweet time.

Or somewhere important like the doctor’s office so they’re most likely dirty mix-matched socks can be exposed!  It cracks me up how they try to tuck their feet under the chair as if they’re….WAIT FOR IT…..EMBARRASSED!

My younger two I am responsible for, and unless a grandparent, or a father was in charge that day, they are always presentable.  However, I know the day will come when they too will be taught subtle lessons as mentioned above.  I just wonder what new subtle ways I will have come up with to teach them a lesson.

I read an article by a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) that was shared over 11,000.  In brief, she went on to say, she felt it wasn’t a job (as many SAHM claim), but a privilege.  By definition, she is right, it’s not a job. While I didn’t really agree with her tone, choice of words and opinion of SAHM per say, I did understand what she was attempting to say.

I’m not an exclusive SAHM, I do work Saturday and Sunday as a RN 6 days a month.  The rest of the days, I’m manning 4 of my off-spring.  When I am working, and explain to my patients I only work Sat/Sun if they need to reach me…., they always ask, “YOU ONLY WORK 2 DAYS?!” I say, “Yes, I have 4 children, one of which is 1 year old that I stay home with during the week.”

IMMEDIATELY, almost everyone men included say, “OH, no wonder, you already have a full-time job!” My patient population is usually 65 and older, so they know the ins and out of what it takes rearing children.

I agree with them.  What I do Monday-Friday is WAAAAAAAAAAY MORE “WORK” than what I get paid to do on the weekend.  There are days I actually do look forward to going to work to get a “break”, and I like to consider this NORMAL.

However would I classify my role as a mother as a job, I would say no.  For me, a job is not something permeant, its temporary work in which you get paid for.  I like to look at being a mother as my CAREER.

I will have this role for the duration of my life, no matter where I go in life. It will always be with me. It was something I aspired to be, and I spend everyday of my life perfecting it.  It’s rewarding and makes me feel like I have made a positive contribution to society at the end of everyday.

Having the privilege of being the main influence in my children’s lives is an honor everyone is not afforded in life, and for that I am grateful.

However, I always say being a mom is hard work, but striving to be the “Best Mom” you can be is by far the hardest thing I know I will ever do in my life.  There are no manuals for raising kids through all the different developmental stages they go through.  It’s a learn as you go role, with a little bit of advice from here, there, and past experiences.  The more you do it the better you get (if you are striving to be better).

There are days where I wonder, “WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING HAVING FOUR KIDS?!” This is because being a mom you NEVER GET A BREAK mentally, physically or spiritually.  Everyone knows what it feels like to work without having a vacation in a long while, and I’ll  leave it at that.

Then there are moments like now, as I’m typing this, where my baby just comes over grabs my hand from the computer, wrap my arm around him, lay his head on my shoulder, leans over and gives me the biggest, “Mmmmm Muah!” That act of unconditional love takes my breath away.  One moment like this makes every sacrifice worthwhile.

While in any given day I may be a:

1. Waitress
2. Chef
3. Referee
4. Laundry manger
5. Doctor
6. Nurse
7. Butler
8. Cheerleader
9. Hairdresser
10. Wardrobe CEO
11. Personal Shopper
12. Hygiene Management and Inspector
13. Chauffer
14. Coach
15. Sports Practice Partner
16. Teacher
17. School Project CEO
18. Lifeguard
19. Event Planner Specialist (Birthdays, Vacations, Outings)
20. Janitor
21. Mrs. Fix-It
22. Confidant
23. Errand Runner
24. Maid
25. Child Care Provider

I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.  This is a role I chose to take, and I plan to be the best at it.  Despite what others may believe about SAHM or any mom , what we do is Priceless.  Being responsible for a human being who came WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS, WARNINGS, OR RETURN POLICY, and molding them into a functional productive member of society, is tough stuff.

I don’t know about other mothers but given the choice, I’d rather be the one waking my children up, taking them to school, being the one to pick them up and ask how their day was (while it’s fresh), eat dinner with, help with homework, take to practice, and tuck in at night.  This to me is priceless and before you know it (so my patients tell me), they are grown living on their own.

NO ONE CAN TREAT A CHILD LIKE A MOTHER TREATS HER CHILD. NO ONE. 

I’m convinced that I clean my house just to keep my house from looking like one of those houses off of hoarders!

Everyday, I get up in the mooring and move, pick-up, put-back, re-arrange etc the SAME ITEMS.  Then on the weekends, I’m working and come Monday,  I am now doing this for two missed days.

I literally cleaned the foyer while everyone was going, from having multiple pairs of shoes from 5 people, coats, scarves, hats, book-bags, sports equipment, basketballs, boxes from packages, and whatever misc stuff you can name, it probably was there.  You know these BLEEP HOLES came in 10 minutes later and just kicked off shoes, dropped bags and coats in the floor, and the place darn near looked like it did before I started IN 2 MINUTES FLAT!!!!!

I wanted to throw EVERYTHING in the trash!  To make matters worse, it seems as if EVERY TIME my MIL comes over, it’s on one of my IDGA… days.  I know she thinks I never clean this place!  She however, is so helpful and jumps right in cleaning, cooking, taking care of the Duke.

OR, I’ll clean the bathroom, and guess who ALL OF A SUDDEN NEEDS TO SHAVE??? No problem right? WRONG, when The Hubs shave, he has a terrible habit from childhood, of just leaving HAIR WHERE IT FALLS! His baby sister even has a sensitive spot about the bad habit.

I must mention, in no way am I a clean house SAINT, but I really feel like I could be doing a lot more with my hours that are going to be wasted in minutes.

I so look forward to the day when I clean my house from top to bottom and when I’m DONE, all the rooms preceding the last room I finished are STILL  SOMEWHAT CLEAN.

The simple things in life we look forward to being mothers.

I DO!

There are days, I wonder what the heck was I thinking having 4 kids.  Why didn’t I stop at 2?! Shoot, why did I even start!

Especially when it’s something I want to do, but I can’t because of something I need to do for one of four that takes precedence.

For example: This summer I was suppose to go to Germany, but now The King needs a surgery that will take up the entire summer, so guess what…mom can’t go.

In no way do I regret my kids, or wish I didn’t have them. I’m just human and have moments where I wish it was just me.  I like to believe this is normal, and any mom who never had a moment like this is LYING TO HERSELF!

Days when I clean the house, and turn around and it’s dirty all over again…wish I was kidless.

Times when I wash clothes for 6 and 2 days latter laundry baskets are filled AGAIN…wouldn’t have that problem if it was just me.

Moments when I want to just up and go and not have to worry about what time I need to be done or dragging a baby, diaper bag, and stroller with me.

How about just wanting to come home and relax…not have to worry about dinner, homework, dance, gymnastics, basketball, baseball, school functions etc. etc. etc.

Then I think, “My kids are who made me who I am today, and I am pretty darn proud and blessed.”

I remember going to a patient’s house and she was sitting on her porch just drinking coffee and looking out at her yard.  I asked does she get bored.  Her reply was priceless…

“Nurse, I’m 79 years old, I raised 5 kids, and helped with 13 grandchildren.  I’ve waited a long time to do NOTHING.”

So with that, my inspiration came, one day, God willing, I will be able to do NOTHING.

My home is composed of 3 boys and 1 girl…THANK GOD!

I ALWAYS wanted a daughter, and I had this “vision” of what she would be like.  Well my daughter is EVERYTHING I EVER IMAGINED, and MORE!

 

I get that all kids lie I believe it’s an impulse to spit out the first thing that comes to their little brains to “not get in trouble.”  What’s worse, is the older they get, the lies seem to get worse and worse.

It’s to the point where my kids don’t even get punished for lying, they’re punished for telling such HORRIBLE LIES!  Each and every time we go through the lie lecture, I remind them they’re better off telling the truth because YOUR LIES SUCK!

My 5 year old is more convincing than the older two, it’s times where even she tries to help them avoid more trouble by pointing out the obvious flaws in their stories.

For some humor here are some of my favorite ‘LIES” that I just had to laugh at and walk away.

1. My 10 year old, who has no job, has not earned any chore money, and has been in severe trouble in the past for stealing $50 worth of $1 gold coins for pretzels and water, was at the money laundering scheme again.

I’m in Vegas, my oldest brother stays with him.  During a routine check in call, I ask, “Where are you two?” I was told they were at 7-Eleven, my son was in the store buying something.  I then ask, “Where did he get money from?” My brother is like I don’t know, he said he found it in the floor.

Now a little history, just before we left, I knocked the change sorter in our foyer in the floor (because someone was tampering with it) and it broke.  I told my son to pick up the money put it on the table and throw the dispenser in the trash.

Now I demand to speak to my son, his response to why he’s in the 7-eleven spending like he has a job is, I found the money in my drawer. (BLANK STARE). Now, this is the second time in the past few weeks, I ask him where he get money from with no job, and he decides to use this MAGIC MONEY MAKING DRAWER  story YET AGAIN!  WHY do boys not forward think, why do I have to waste my time explaining to him how his story is not only a lie, but a horrible lie that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, NOT EVEN TO HIS 5 YEAR OLD SISTER LISTENING!

Then he goes on to try and defend the freaking lie, and INSIST this is where the money came from!
The 5 year old tells him, “How did it get there? We’re in the same room and I don’t have money in my drawers” (DEAD AND EXITS STAGE LEFT).

My oldest most worst lie revolves around gatorade, and usually its the ten year old who stomach gets him in trouble. Let me give you the background…

My 10 year-old was playing baseball and my oldest decided to opt out.  So I go grocery shopping, and buy a LARGE ASSORTMENT of beverages and gatorades for my youngest for baseball only.  I explain to BOTH OF THEM, the gatorade is only for him for sports and not be be drunk for ANY OTHER REASON.  Immediately after this conversation, I take my youngest to baseball practice, he takes a gatorade with him.  I leave the oldest in the house BY HIMSELF.

Come back home, and my youngest proceeds to report a gatorade is missing.  Now I’m not sure if he is covering his butt, or simply trying to get his brother in trouble, BUT EVERYONE KNOWS who drank the gatorade.

I go and ask my son WHY did you DELIBERATELY AND DEFIANTLY drink the gatorade darn near immediately after you were instructed not to?  His reply was, “I didn’t drink it.” I mean he was insistent, rambling, angry no one believes him and so forth.

Here comes the 5 year old, “Well, you were the only one here so who else did it?”  Again, Exits stage left.  I swear I have a ghost in my house that I need to track down so I can claim on my taxes, because these kids of mine never do anything.  Yet ironically, the 5 year old is just as baffled with these lame excuses as the ADULTS in the house!

The 5 year-old don’t even bother to lie, she just comes clean and takes her punishment on the chin.  She gets upset initially, but realizes she was wrong and is accepting of whatever is to come her way, now she just say, “I’m going to go to my room”.  WHY can’t it be that simple and easy with my boys??

Why do the little ones pick up the absolute WORST HABITS from their siblings?!

As if dealing with it with the first child isn’t enough, it’s like a virus running through the house…for YEARS! Every child following them picks up the trait and makes it their own.

Can’t relate to what I’m talking about??? Well let me give you a few examples:

Exhibit A:  When my boys were smaller, they would take baths and not use soap.  (Guess you can’t call that a bath).  As the princess grew older, I’m sure she has overheard the yelling and screaming associated with them wasting my water!  She would take a bath after their alleged bath, and politely report theres not any soap to wash up with, exposing all those who went before her.  WELL now she’s pulling the SAME OL TRICKS!

Tonight I asked her if she took her bath, and she replied yes, and then I asked did you wash up with soap, and she replies, “Oh, I forgot.” REALLY….YOU FORGOT SOAP!!!  Just amazes me!

Exhibit B:  My boys are messy, dirty, and disgusting (as mother nature intended).  They don’t flush the toilet after number 1 or 2, they leave dirty clothes EVERY AND ANYWHERE, and for some God Forsaken Reason, they mix their clean clothes with the dirty clothes!  My princess was once a very meticulous little girl and dotted her “i” and crossed her “t”.  WELP, NOW, she blends in with the tribe…walks in leave shoes, book bag, lunch box in the Foyer, don’t flush the toilet, dirty clothes in the bathroom after bath time…and the list goes on.

All I can say is, I can’t WAIT TO RETURN THE FAVOR…Vengeance will be mine in my old age! I plan to personally spend 3 months at each one of their homes and mimicking their nasty habits! I actually look forward to it!

DISCLAIMER: This is my thoughts and feelings, and if you do not like them, well, stop reading once you feel offended, and keep your negative opinions to yourself, please and thank you.

FIRST, I’m soooooo sick and tired of all the fuss about public breastfeeding! I’m sick of all the pictures exploiting private moments with babies for publicity, and I’m sick of all the “breast is best” nonsense; “I’ll feed until my baby until he don’t want it any more. ” (Big sigh of relief now that I got that out).

Now do I breast feed? YES (exclusively no formula ever)
Do I breastfeed in public? YES (don’t care who cares or is watching)

The “breast is best” mantra NEEDS TO BE DISCONTINUED.  In MY OPINION, FOOD IS BEST, by any means.  Stop making mothers who are unable to breastfeed for whatever reason, or simply choose not to, feel like less of a mother for their choice.  As long as the child is fed, growing, and thriving let that be the end.  I’ve done both and honestly do not have any miracle differences between the bottle fed kids (2) versus the breast fed kids (2).  I’m happy to report, they are all alive happy thriving, and all see a specialist of some sort for some ailment.

NEXT on my rant is public breast feeding… Once I saw the mom on a stripper pole, at the beach, with her toddler attached to her breast….well I FEEL….it’s really turning into publicity stunts, and no one is going to take this movement serious!  To top it off, people supporting the madness (you rock….aww how cute….that’s awesome…)….no one sees anything DANGEROUSLY WRONG (I don’t know, mom loses grip and well….)with breastfeeding while on a stripper pole??? REALLY???

I agree, that public breastfeeding, should not be an issues in our country in today’s society.  Although, neither should homelessness, unemployment, hunger etcetera.  It’s impossible to change people’s opinions, and exploiting private moments with your child is not the way to bring about change.  In fact, it’s their opinion and they are entitled to it…WELCOME TO AMERICA! As long as you and your child are not PHYSICALLY violated (mean stares, and nasty comments don’t count), WHO CARES WHO STARES??? I simply tell them to cover their eyes if they have a problem.

Breastfeeding is about being in that moment with your child and bonding, a picture or two for memories, I understand, but hundreds on social media, well I FEEL it is just going overboard.  That time with your child is just as private and intimate as the cuddle time you spend with your significant other, and you don’t see people posting those moments over and over again.

Finally (this is it, I promise), this breastfeeding (not breast milk) until 3, 4 and beyond, is just a little overboard too.  I mean what really is the benefit?? YES, I have read the AAP recommendations of “mutually agreed by mother and baby..”  However, there are not ANY BENEFITS listed beyond the first year OR after that statement.  A bunch of literature supporting 6 months to a year and WHY, but not so much after a year. I strongly feel, the parent is more attached than the child after while.  Justifying it with they still want it, it has immunity in it, the child will let me know when he’s done, and with websites still makes it unnecessary.  CUT THE CORD ALREADY!!!! Now, I don’t look down on parents who do this, to each is own.  I FEEL, that it is unnecessary, not wrong, just unnecessary.  My children have until 2, and after that, bye-bye boo-boo.

These are just my thoughts on what I’ve been thinking.

And well like Bugs Bunny would say….That’s all folks!

Whew, I needed to get that off my chest! Thank you.