The Prince

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This is my second son, AKA Sonnie-Onie. This once little, now big fella is my everything.  He came into this world at 3 pounds 5 ounces on 3/5/05 and has been a determined individual from day one.

What I remember most about his first month in the NICU (neontal intensive care unit) was his temperament.  The only time he cried was when he was circumcised.  He was, and has always been, my most easy-going child.  I like to refer to him as my saving grace, because I honestly don’t know what I would do without his presence.

My prince is the best big-brother a sibling could ever ask for.  He’s a natural athlete, with baseball being his niche. Lastly, he’s the best helper a mom could get their hands on.  Whenever I need help with ANYTHING, he is there to lend a helping hand without any question.

Having him for a son, really makes me envy the lucky young lady who gets to call him her husband.  I just pray she is wise and mature enough to appreciate all he has to offer.  Mom’s who have son’s like him, often fear, their kindness will be taken for a weakness.

Until the time comes for him to leave my nest and make his own, he’s all mine, and I plan to cherish him.

Meet my Baseball SuperStar “The Prince”

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"Mom why are you so tired?": A letter to my son

A letter to my son as to why I’m so tired.
Dear son,
You seem to think being a mom consist of taking you to school, going home, taking a nap, and picking you guys up.  Well I want to give you glimpse into how my day goes and why.
            My day started when my alarm went off at 6am.  I lay in my bed waiting to see how many times you’re going to hit the snooze button before you get up.  Thirty minutes later, I get up to get your sister up, and wake you up.   I lay back down because I’m exhausted (I didn’t’ go to bed until 1:30am-2am). Why you ask? I had to wash clothes, clean the kitchen, and get things done for me.  You see this is the only time in the day I have to myself.  While I’m lying down, I’m listening for the water to run to make sure you and your brother brushed your teeth (even though I shouldn’t have too).  I’m reminding your sister of her morning routine to teach her independence.  At the last possible minute, I finally get up, I fix your sister’s hair, throw something on to wear (appearance is nothing to me anymore), and go make her lunch.  I inspect her book-bag to make sure everything’s’ there, and proceed to get your brother up, on the potty, and dressed.  I pack his bag, grab my list, my purse, make your brother a quick breakfast fill his cup, fetch his Ipad, and head on out the door.  I check to make sure you have your lunch and homework.
            Now I drive from North Wilmington to Westside (15 mins) to drop you off at school. I drive back to North Wilmington (15 mins), to put your sister on the bus.  Now  I get to my list.  I have to prioritize because I can never get to everything in one day.  My first stop is Shoprite (15 mins).  I drive back to Westside to go grocery shopping for the next 2 weeks, with your sleeping baby brother in his sleepy wrap.  After about an hour, we are done, load up the car, he is awake and I have to STOP to give him his breakfast, ipad and cup of juice (30 mins).  Our next stop is BJ’s, but while sitting at a light I notice the Etteman’s Outlet store, and stop in to see what snacks I can get for a bargain for you, your brother and sister’s lunch.  I figure here’s a way to save money, because groceries are very expensive for a family of 5.   Next we head to BJ’s, pick up the big items on my list.  As I’m about to check out, I get a call from your school stating you hit your head and needed to be picked up.  No problem, my plans are never set in stone.
After leaving BJ’s I stop at Rush Uniform store to get your Long –Sleeved shirts I ordered a month ago, because the weather is changing and I don’t want you to be cold.  After learning its not in, I put on my list to get you long sleeved shirts to wear underneath until they arrive.  We now head to your school to pick you up.  I do a quick assessment to make sure you’re okay, and I don’t have to make a 2 for 1 trip at A.I Hospital today.  You check out, and home we go.  I sit on the couch and wait for you to bring the groceries in the house, and the next thing I remember is waking up. I fell asleep and I didn’t even know it. You call this a nap, but it’s really my body is purely exhausted from lack of sleep.  I get up finish putting the food away, heat up some spaghetti, grab a roll, pack some snacks for your baby brother, and head to the hospital with your big brother (while eating and driving).
Your brother gets the news he can walk (after 3 months of not walking..YAY!) and home we go.  Once home, I have to do some preparing for class (read my books). I make your brother lunch, entertain him, and attempt to read and retain something from my “reading” all at the same time. I pack my bag for school, pack your brother some snacks, get your sister clothes for her tumbling class, and her clothes to stay the night at Tiffany’s (because if I forget them she will have a total meltdown).

I wait for Damon to come get you guys, hand you off to him with distinct instructions, pray he follows them and drive to school.  From 4:30 to 9pm I’m in class bored, and annoyed working in a group, but I go to school to give you guys a better life.  I leave school, drive to the car shop to drop my car off (which is way past due on maintenance).  I come home talk to you about school, feed your brother dinner, and for the first time in a day use the bathroom.  I lay in my bed typing this after you asked me what did I do today besides take a nap.  I’m struggling to get up to shower, haven’t eaten anything since spaghetti, and I’m planning for my day tomorrow without my car.  When the day is all said and done, I still won’t go to bed until around 1-2am, because now I have to get things done for me and my house…by the way, it’s 11:08pm, you’re sound asleep.

I hope this give you some insight as to “Why I’m always so tired.”

Middle Children..

My middle son is AMAZING!

He’s the best big brother any sibling could dream of (when you’re under 5)!

He’s the biggest helper a mom could ever ask for.

He is an extremely super duper athlete (that may be famous one day)

He does excellent in school and rarely gives me a problem.

He has the sweetest heart and is always thinking of others.

He has a great work ethics always willing to earn his keep.

With all these amazing qualities, and being such a low key dude, I feel I don’t focus on him enough because he’s SOO GOOD!

My oldest son and my 2 little ones DEMAND attention in some form or fashion.  While my Prince, just go with the flow.

It has to suck to be the middle child.  He never complains, never fuss, and never argues…he just goes with the flow.

He’s never offered “deals” like a Xbox One or a Playstation 4 if he gets A’s and B’s on his report card, because he always do.

There should be a middle child club, because I’m sure there are things they experience no one but them could ever understand

I love him so much, for being the one who help keep me sane. He will be rewarded in life!

Breastfeeding:The Only Way I Could Touch My Son

I was a young mom (16 to be exact), and with my first son I had no desire to breastfeed until it was too late.  Four years later, I had another son who was born 31 weeks premature.

My son 2 weeks old

My maternal instinct told me from birth he would be alright.  Almost 24 hours later when I was able to see him for the first time, my heart was broken.  Seeing my baby hooked up too so many tubes, contraptions and devices, I was devastated.  
I don’t remember much about my son being in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit, spot for tiny babies), but I vividly remember feeling absolutely NO CONNECTION WITH MY SON.  

3 years later

I was told when and if I could hold him, and sometimes I wasn’t allowed to hold him.  I was told I had to put him back only minutes after picking him up.  When I did hold him, I wasn’t able to cuddle him, burry my nose in his neck, or hold him close to me and smell his hair.  I had to hold him like he was a piece of porcelain that would break if I made one false move.
In my heart, I was falling apart inside because I  did not feel any bond with my son.  When I went back to my room, my room mate was pumping milk for her baby that too was in the NICU.  After talking with her, I figured, “that’s the least I can do for him, since I can’t do anything else.”  So together we pumped for our half baked babies.
I began pumping and quickly learned I was a human cow!  I made so much milk, the hospital told me not to bring anymore in for him!  Seeing my milk go through that feeding tube into his body helped me begin to bond with my son from a distance.  Watching my son grow, and come off breathing machines, feeding tubes, heart monitors and home into my arms all thanks to MY MILK, was priceless.
My son, The Prince, is almost 11 years old today, and to anyone on the outside looking in would never know the obstacles he had to overcome to be where he is today.  I know my decision to breastfeed him helped make all the difference.  Whether your baby is full term, or half baked like my baby, I strongly feel if nothing else breastfeeding brings about a bond between mother and child no one can take away.

My son and I 10 years later

The Shoe Diva

“How many shoes does one little girl need?!” asked my husband!

That is the question…Let’s find out (in my Tootsie Roll Owl Voice)…Uh 1..Uh 2…ALOT!

Last evening the hubby made note that I buy the princess more shoes than the 3 boys.  Well guess what??? I FREAKING DO, and here’s why!

1. It’s a law woman (and their mini me’s) are to have more shoes than their counterparts.  I have to start her off young understanding the power of a fierce shoe.

2.  I can get her 2 or 3 shoes  for the price of ONE pair of shoes for the older two boys.

Joyfolie has the BEST BOOTS and SHOES!

3. The baby boys REFUSE to wear shoes!  I brought him shoes, and I SWEAR he took them off and HID THEM, because I found them under the couch…he’s only ONE!

See the lack of shoes in tis picture at the PARK?

4. Little girl shoes are so STINKING CUTE, and I can’t refuse! (yes I have a shopping problem as well).

Some of The Princess’s Fall shoes from 2013 (Joyfolie)

5. My daughter is grateful for ANY SHOE that comes through the house….my BOYS, not so much, so I don’t bother!  As I’m typing this I’m wearing a pair of shoes that my prince didn’t want!

I loves this Maci by Joyfolie so much, I brought it 2 years in a row!

With all that being said, fellas please know us women will put you out of a closet for the sake of shoes, and we learn this when we are young.  Therefore BE PREPARED (in my scar voice from Lion King).

Anyone have anything to add?? Check out my diva and her shoe fetish by following us on Instagram @ zizah_the_diva or the Facebook page!

Who Remember the Streetlights as Their Curfew?

As I was driving through the neighborhood coming from gymnastics with my daughter the other night, I saw some kids outside playing in the street and it was practically dark outside.

As I got closer, I realized one of those kids was my Prince, and initially I waved.  A few more rolls down the street, it hit me.  It was darn near dark, the streetlights were on, and his behind was still outside!

I hit those brakes ,rolled the window down and he got the “old-fashioned” get your butt in the house speech!

I remember growing up and there was no set time for me to be in the house.  My curfew depended on the almighty streetlight!  If my butt was not in the house before the streetlights came on, well lets just say I would get the PSA, of my mom yelling my government name out the window and taking that walk of shame into the house from embarrassment!

“LAKESHEIA TARNISE WILLIAMS!!! YOU DON’T SEE THESE STREET LIGHTS ON??? IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR BUTT IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW, I’M GONNA COME OUT THERE AND GET YOU!” (that’s my mom yelling at me)

Once this was announced, everyone stopped, looked at you, and bid there farewells before their mom put them on blast next!

I keep telling my kids, going outside was the Xbox, Playstation, Computer.  Taking away our fresh air and time to run amuck with our friends outside was the ultimate punishment.

It felt good to pass that tradition down to my son in this day and age of technology.  I’m glad he’s outside playing, interacting with other children, and getting exercise in lieu of being sedentary in front of a screen.

The Lost "Middle" Child

My prince is what I feel is my “lost” child.  He is such a good boy, (as long as food is not involved), that I strongly feel I overlook him.  It’s like he flies under the radar.  My oldest son literally SUCKS EVERYTHING I have to offer four children leaving crumbs for his siblings to fight over.

My Prince

Having this epiphany, I must say I have tried to do more things with just him.  Shine the light on him, and reward him for being the “good lost” child.

It just kills me to see this, and have very little control over it due to the demands of my oldest.  I feel like he’s being sacrificed.  To make matters worse, I’m horrible with the things he find interesting, but I’ve been doing my best to engage and show interest.

There are times where I see this look of looniness in his eyes, and I feel helpless and at fault.  I wonder are my efforts and realization too late?  What could I have done differently to avoid this?

All I can do is hope and pray that I fill his void.

Has anyone else ever felt this way or noticed this?

Please share and comment!