Tag: Boys

The Prince

threeleadingladies

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This is my second son, AKA Sonnie-Onie. This once little, now big fella is my everything.  He came into this world at 3 pounds 5 ounces on 3/5/05 and has been a determined individual from day one.

What I remember most about his first month in the NICU (neontal intensive care unit) was his temperament.  The only time he cried was when he was circumcised.  He was, and has always been, my most easy-going child.  I like to refer to him as my saving grace, because I honestly don’t know what I would do without his presence.

My prince is the best big-brother a sibling could ever ask for.  He’s a natural athlete, with baseball being his niche. Lastly, he’s the best helper a mom could get their hands on.  Whenever I need help with ANYTHING, he is there to lend a helping hand without any question.

Having him for a son, really makes me envy the lucky young lady who gets to call him her husband.  I just pray she is wise and mature enough to appreciate all he has to offer.  Mom’s who have son’s like him, often fear, their kindness will be taken for a weakness.

Until the time comes for him to leave my nest and make his own, he’s all mine, and I plan to cherish him.

Meet my Baseball SuperStar “The Prince”

The King

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Javon

This young fellow is the first of my off-spring.  I like to believe he is the reason I am where I am today.  Having him at the tender age of 16 changed my life in ways I never even knew.

Being a teen mom was hard, it was challenging, and it was the hardest test I ever had to take in life thus far.  Everyone in my life told me my life was ruined, and that I wouldn’t amount to anything.  The question was always asked, “What about school, or college? What are you gonna do now?!”

My answer was, “Survive, excel, and continue to be great.”  All that doubt from those who were suppose to be in my corner, was diesel fuel for my stride to success.  I became determined to finish school, go to college, and make something out  of myself, because that little person was depending on me.

My son is my everything, without him I don’t know what path I might have taken.  Without him, I wouldn’t have become an RN at the age of 22, or owned my house at the age of 23.  Without him, I wouldn’t still be striving to be great, because he looks to me the most for guidance on what success entails.

This young man has challenged me in ways I could never explain.  We have been on a rocky roller coaster with his health, his self-esteem, his academics, his work ethic and so on.  There are ups and downs, but we are muddling through them all with grace and dignity.

It’s hard to believe in 1 1/2 years he will be considered an adult.  My baby will be a man.  Until then, he’s just my nerve plucking teenager, who has tempted me to write a book titled “What to expect during the teenage year”.  I swear this is the most important book in parenting, that has yet to be published!

I introduce to you, my King!

 

The Duke

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I’m not sure how this little rascal made it here, but boy I am sure glad he did. This little dude (and little is an understatement) is like no child I have ever met in my life.  He TRULY marches to his own beat.

I have the privilege of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM), to him Monday-Friday, and it is like parenting for the first time with him.  With him, NONE of the rules apply. All of my previous experience in parenting is useless.  EVERYTHING in the world of parenting tips is a joke as far as he is concerned. He challenges me to levels I never even knew existed! Although, I absolutely love it and wouldn’t trade a moment of his persistent, OCD, stubborn ways in for the world!

This face is sincerely, my sunshine on a rainy day, puts a smile on my face when I didn’t think I had anything to smile about, makes me laugh when I need it most, and amazes me with how intelligent he is on a daily basis.

Despite putting me over the edge being my fourth child, I wouldn’t trade him in for all the riches around…I mean, who else is going to sing an “ABC”, “I Love You” duet with me?!

I promise you this section will be full of laughs, surprises and amazement! I introduce to you, The Duke aka The Bud!

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ADHD: Living With The Invisible Disability

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I have been dealing with ADHD for 10 years or so.  What I have come to realize is like most mental health illnesses, I feel since it is not “seen” by the naked eye, people have a hard time understanding and believing it exist.

When I recall the endless amount of phone calls, conferences, and emails sent back and forth with my son’s educators and myself, I seem to always feel like they just don’t get what it is he goes through.
The suggestions I get as to what my son needs to do to be successful are:
“he needs to pay attention”
“he needs to focus”
“he’s needs better organization”
“he needs to follow directions”
“he needs to put in more effort and stop being lazy”
I literally just boil over inside because ummmmm that’s called having ADHD….DUH!
Once in a heated disagreement about my son’s capabilities with one of his teachers, I simply asked her, “Would you tell a blind child’s mom if he took notes off the board like everyone else he would’t fail.” OR a deaf child’s parent, “If she was listening to me during class she would understand what is going on.”
NO….why is that, because you can visually see and put a finger on the fact they need accommodations to learn.  However since my son’s disability is inside the brain, it has to be made up.
ADHD is INVISIBLE but it is REAL.  It is devastating, and soul crushing for those who have to live with it and for those who live with them.
No one wants to struggle or fail in life.  No child want to be a disappointment to themselves or their parents.  No child aspires to be labeled lazy and they don’t care, because they are totally the opposite.  They DO CARE, and they WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL.  It’s just difficult for them and beyond their control. They need supportive, understanding, nurturing environments and educators who comprehend this.
Imagine how you would feel if everything you touch you lost, everything you attempt with your best effort, you fall short, no matter how hard you try you just can’t stay focused to learn.  All while everyone around you is excelling.  Imagine being an extremely bright and intelligent human being, but not being able to show case it, and being labeled the total opposite.
That is life for a child with ADHD.

Teenagers Turn Into EINSTEIN..Parents=Idiots!

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When having kids, people make it a point  to give you all the grueling details of what its going to be like having a new baby in the house.  Sleepless nights, dirty diapers, bottle making, expenses, basically your life is now over.

However, what I fail to recall anyone telling me about was teenagers.  I feel current parents purposefully leave this stage of childhood out, because people probably would never procreate!

I can deal with a cute, innocent, babbling baby’s drama, BUT these teenagers…lets just say I’m on the borderline of catching a charge!

I have a 14 year old who is making me question “Why did I have FOUR kids” on a daily basis!

It amazes me how my cute, sweet, dancing little baby, transformed into an angry, mean, know-it-all, “I don’t care”, begging, ungrateful, impossible, self-centered, selfish, lazy….person.

Not only that, I swear my son turned 14 and he instantly became a GENUIS and I, THE DUMMY, IDIOT, MORON, DUNCE…..and the list goes on!

“4 More Years” is my new mantra!  I tell my kids when they graduate from high school, living with me is  NOT AN OPTION! College is their only option if they want my support.  If they choose another route, I am totally for that too, just as long as they realize, THEY CAN NOT LIVE WITH ME!!!!

My oldest has ADHD in the WORST WAY, and to add some sugar and spice and everything nice…ROARING TESTOSTERONE!!!  Let’s just say;

  1. His attitude bites BLEEP
  2. His 8th grade education triumphs my college degreeS
  3. He NEVER I repeat NEVER does ANYTHING WRONG! “What did I do?”
  4. Again, I’m CRAZY, STUPID, MEAN, and I’m sure he’s mumbled..”PAIN IN THE…
With every being in my body, “4 more years” can not come quick enough! He will have the biggest graduation party, and he won’t even realize, that I’m celebrating for me just as much for him.

I know that just because they leave the nest the job of mom is not complete, but at least I will get a break, because I also am painfully aware I have 3 more teenagers to raise!

Thanks for hearing my rant!

Teenagers: Where’s the Manual?!

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Ever since my child was a toddler, he was always withdrawn, angry, jealous, competitive, and hyper. As I go back and look at pictures and videos, I see a baby versions of what I see in my 14 year old now.

 

As a mother of four, I really feel I finally have a handle on dealing with babies, but once they get into school, and GOD knows middle/high school (teenagers), I feel like I’m dropping the ball.  There are so many programs for parents revolving around the newborn to 5 year old range, however, then what?  There are not ANY guides, manuals, home visiting programs, etc, to aid parents in raising children beyond 5 (at least where I live), unless they are troubled.  It feels like a trial and error system…practice makes perfect I guess.

There are days when, I want to just throw my hands up in the air in failure, and simply count down the days to graduation.  How do something so sweet turn into something so menacing?  Why and how do we become the enemy and the bad guy overnight?  My son and I have been to soooooooooooooooo (yes that many o’s) doctors, therapist, counselors, medication and specialist I’m SICK!  HOWEVER, despite my urge to give in, I don’t and I won’t (I still countdown to graduation as if I’m really going to be free).  I just keep trucking, and trying out the numerous recommendations I get from these doctors and pray for the rainbow when the rain clears!