My First Born at 16

J.D, my first born, my heart, my love, my hardest child imaginable! Born at 33 weeks weighing 5lbs 1oz, on January 25, 2000.  My life was forever changed that day (yes all mothers say this, and it is true).  He was a premie, I was 16 going on 17, still in high school, and ready for the task of motherhood that life had presented to me.  At the time, his father and I were still together, but that did not last long.  By 9 months I believe he was married to some other chick.  Oh well, life goes on.  When I had my son, my life had new meaning, I realized really quick that I wanted the best for him, and myself and would do whatever it was I had to do to make that happen.  I graduated from high school with honors and realized very quickly that welfare was not a long-term option for my son and I.  By the age of 22 I was an RN supporting my son independently with no help from the government.  While I was doing these things for my son, as I later in life realized, I was not there for him to give him the foundation he needed to be a strong confident young man in the future.  Thus  my current constant struggles with him.  Looking back at pictures and video of my son, he was always so angry, mean, and oppositional, and hard on himself.  We have been through hell and back, and I will take you on that journey, but 13 and a half years later, I finally see some light at the end of this tunnel.

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