My Biggest Challenge of Motherhood

As a nurse, but most importantly, as a parent, I have never been so frustrated in my life. I have two kids with ADHD who NEED medication to be at their best for school and day to day activities. Managing their healthcare has been one of the most difficult tasks I have faced yet as their mother.  

It truly amazes me, how those responsible for managing their care, treat their condition like it’s a common cold. It has been challenging to say the least, finding a doctor who can just actually LISTEN to what I’m telling them. It’s like I’m speaking to a brick wall. Let me give you the scenario:

Over the summer, my daughter was taking Daytrana. Which worked PERFECTLY in the summer when I could give it to her mid-day.  When school started up, I noticed her becoming more oppositional, not listening, not following directions, and most importantly her grades sliding. After speaking with her teacher, speaking with her, and having a full two days to physically observe her, I realized it was no longer working (duh). Once school started, I had began putting it on at 6:30-45. Four days of the week, her day is over at 8:30pm. Sooooo, that little patch effectiveness was LOOOONG GONE. 

I get this “aha!” moment and send a message, requesting suggestions for managing her ADHD better. I learn her PNP (pediatric nurse practitioner) is away on vacation and they rerouted my messages to one of the pediatricians. She recommended 2 patches a day. After talking to my pharmacy, insurance company and my physical observations of my child, I immediately let her know. I did not agree with this for the following reasons.

1. The patch ISNT WORKING!!

2. My insurance said they won’t cover it. 🙄

3. Even if they did after going through the prior authorization process, I would have to spend $180 a month on patches (her and my son are on it and having the same problem). 😳

Well let me tell you, this doctor comes back and tell me, that it is too difficult to handle my daughter medications through the phone/email and I’m just going to have to wait (3+weeks) for her FNP to come back and resolve it. 😡

You talking about someone FURIOUS?! I felt like she just washed her hands of her and just left her to suffer for the next several weeks in the meantime!  All she had to say was, “Could you please schedule an appointment so I can better understand the problems, to better help her?”

So we had Vyvanse 20mg that my daughter did not want to try, but out of desperation, she took it anyway. She came home and said she had a great day in school! The only problem, by the time she got to gymnastics, it was 💯 worn off! She was a mess in class, so much so, her coach put her out the gym because she could not focus!

Knowing her PNP is retiring in 2 months anyway, I go on and make the switch to a different office to get her a new provider and seen quicker. They bring us in the next day, everything seems to be cool. I had to explain everything to the medical student, who then relays it to the attending, and she comes back and offer her suggestions. She proposed we change her Vyvanse dose to 30mg. 😳🙄. I kindly remind her the 20mg is perfect. No side effects with desired outcomes, and it’s the afternoon that is the concern and problem. She then suggest leaving Vyvanse at 20mg and adding Adderal 5mg in the evening. (Finally) is what I’m saying in my head. 

So I get the medicine that day to give it to her to se if it’s effective for her afternoon activities. It worked briefly, but would’ve been worn off 2 hours before she was done with gymnastics. I give it the weekend, to see if it improves, and it didn’t. Call the office on Monday to report it’s not working and we are back at square A 😔. After talking to the nurse, who talks to the doctor, who then talks to me, who then talks to the doctor, who then talks to me 🙄, I’m told to wait a week to see if it works 😳.  I asked the nurse to have to doctor call me because, she’s not understanding what I’m saying. My daughter is not safe in gymnastics if she is unable to focus and pay attention. 24 hours later, nothing. 

So I did what we are not supposed to due and gave her 7.5mg in the afternoon ANYWAY, and guess what, IT WORKED. I mean, last I checked, it does not take a week for a stimulant medication to work. While we are playing this “waiting game”, my child is SUFFERING. I wonder if I told her, my daughter’s albuterol isn’t working and she can’t breath, would she tell me to wait a week. Or, the blood pressure pill still had her blood pressure 180/90, would they say wait another week. I mean WHY IS IT OK, that her mental health has to WAIT IT OUT, when there is a FIX?! Especially since the type of medication she takes is not a waiting game type of medication. It’s either going to be effective or not effective IMMEDIATELY. It don’t take a WEEK to figure that out. 

So here it is 6 days later…I’m curious to see how long it takes the doctor to do what should’ve been done on Monday?! 

Please share your stories so I’m not in this boat alone! 

ADHD: Living With The Invisible Disability

I have been dealing with ADHD for 10 years or so.  What I have come to realize is like most mental health illnesses, I feel since it is not “seen” by the naked eye, people have a hard time understanding and believing it exist.

When I recall the endless amount of phone calls, conferences, and emails sent back and forth with my son’s educators and myself, I seem to always feel like they just don’t get what it is he goes through.
The suggestions I get as to what my son needs to do to be successful are:
“he needs to pay attention”
“he needs to focus”
“he’s needs better organization”
“he needs to follow directions”
“he needs to put in more effort and stop being lazy”
I literally just boil over inside because ummmmm that’s called having ADHD….DUH!
Once in a heated disagreement about my son’s capabilities with one of his teachers, I simply asked her, “Would you tell a blind child’s mom if he took notes off the board like everyone else he would’t fail.” OR a deaf child’s parent, “If she was listening to me during class she would understand what is going on.”
NO….why is that, because you can visually see and put a finger on the fact they need accommodations to learn.  However since my son’s disability is inside the brain, it has to be made up.
ADHD is INVISIBLE but it is REAL.  It is devastating, and soul crushing for those who have to live with it and for those who live with them.
No one wants to struggle or fail in life.  No child want to be a disappointment to themselves or their parents.  No child aspires to be labeled lazy and they don’t care, because they are totally the opposite.  They DO CARE, and they WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL.  It’s just difficult for them and beyond their control. They need supportive, understanding, nurturing environments and educators who comprehend this.
Imagine how you would feel if everything you touch you lost, everything you attempt with your best effort, you fall short, no matter how hard you try you just can’t stay focused to learn.  All while everyone around you is excelling.  Imagine being an extremely bright and intelligent human being, but not being able to show case it, and being labeled the total opposite.
That is life for a child with ADHD.