Author: threeleadingladies

I have so many roles in life, but the most important are my leading roles, and join me as I share my chaos of all three of the leading ladies!

GOT MILK: Breastfeeding After One

threeleadingladies

For whatever reason, my baby boy prefers to nurse more than anything, mainly when with me.  The only problem with that is, HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME!

My one sitting bounty at 15 months

At one point he would eat about 5 to 6 containers of baby food a day, and has dwindled down to 2 maybe 3 a day when he’s with me.  If I leave him with his mi-mi (grandma) he will always eat 2 to 3 containers in one sitting with her.

Due to his increase desire to nurse, I really haven’t pumped much in the past few months (I believe since August).  So no one has SEEN my milk in the house, so they think there IS NO MILK.

This past week we were in Vegas, flew round trip nonstop from Philadelphia to Vegas.  The boo-boo was my flying, shuttle riding savior.  Every time my hub blinked, he was under my shirt.  Due to the atmosphere change, my baby boy lips became very dry (mine as well) and my hub asked, “is he even getting any milk or is he just sucking? I think he’s dehydrated.”  This from the Engineers lips to the Registered Nurse’s ears.

REALLY?! Let’s think about this for a sec….do you really think, I’m going to let my baby go all day for DAYS…WEEKS…MONTHS with only eating 2 to 3 jars of baby food and then just sucking on me FOR FUN?!

I politely told him of course he’s getting milk, that’s why he keeps coming back for more.

This evening, his mi-mi, who has been on a traveling spree for work the past two months, decided to keep him overnight.  Therefore, I had to pull out my old best friend…the PUMP.  I pumped a little over 10  ounces (and I wasn’t fully empty) and politely showed my hub and said…”GOT MILK?? ANY MORE QUESTIONS??”

I have to admit it did feel good seeing my milk outside the body building up another supply in the freezer.  I know within 24 hrs, I’ll have at least 6-8 bags of milk.  The only bad part is, my duke hates drinking from anything that’s not ME.

Keep Your Baby From Crying While Flying By…

threeleadingladies

The first time I flew with my son, I never really paid much attention to the faces passengers made when I boarded the plane with him.  Maybe it was because I was going to Orlando, and it was several other children aboard.  Maybe, I just did not care. Who knows!

 

I was still concerned with him screaming and hollering, or being the baby that gets you all
the “looks” when you board the plane.  Luckily, he was pretty much behaved his first flight.
Well, this trip to Vegas, was a totally different story!  I swear if I didn’t know any better I had a sign on my forehead that read, “I HAVE A BOMB DON’T MOVE,” because the looks of shear terror across everyone face when I got on the plane, was pure priceless. The relief on everyone’s face when I passed their seat was even funnier!  However, the face of the “LUCKY” person who won the FIVE HOUR SEAT across the country with my son and I was just pure comedy!

Despite everyone’s fear, my son was an excellent baby considering!  He did NOT CRY at ALL, and everyone praised him when we landed both trips!

Here were the things that kept him occupied for 5 hours

1. The PHONE: He loves electronics and pushing buttons, so that kept him entertained for a good 40 minutes, along with playing candy crush with me.

2. SELFIES! He loves seeing himself and taking pictures, so we had a mini photo shoot that lasted for about 30-40 minutes

3. IPAD: Dad took the initiative to recored his favorite sprout shows, and he watched them for about an hour or so.

4. The BOO-BOO: Breastfeeding never came in more handy! Whenever he got restless or irritable he would simply nurse and go back to being a pleasant little boy

5. The WINDOW SEAT: He enjoyed looking out the window, and more importantly opening and closing the window. I swear this kept him busy for over an hour!

6. TIMING: Try to plan flights early in the morning, late at night, or around baby’s bed time.  If they can sleep the majority of the trip, it will make your life that much easier.

7. SNACKS: We were sure to pack his favorite snacks to keep him occupied and some juice in a sippy cup.

I also made sure I changed his diaper right before boarding the plane, and boarded LAST! I did not want him on the plane any longer than he needed to be.

My son also is a very hot temperature baby so I would suggest dressing baby in layers to be able to keep him or her comfortable.  I literally stripped my son down to his onesie and socks for maximum comfort.

I think each time we fly we both get better and better at it!

Am I in Labor?: When To Go To The Hospital

threeleadingladies

I was at the mall today and this VERY PREGNANT lady sparked conversation with me in the checkout line.  She saw my son and asked if this was my first.

I gave her the usual reply, “I WISH!” and went on to tell her I have 4 kids 1-14.  She was a first time mom and asked, “How do you know when your’e in labor?”
I love this question from new moms, because it’s a very simple answer.  For educational purposes (because I did teach this stuff to first time moms) I will list the signs and symptoms of active labor.
However in a nutshell, (and veteran moms can nod your heads in agreement), the answer is a simple, “you know”.  After learning all the s/s of true vs. false labor, the best advice I give new mommies is this.
“When you have pain that you can NO LONGER BEAR,  kick, scream, cry, yell, and curse, you are typically in labor”  
 
But, as promised here are the actual s/s of true labor:
  1. Your contractions are 5 minutes or LESS apart REGULARLY for at least an HOUR.
  2. The contractions start in THE BACK AND WRAP AROUND TO THE BELLY
  3. No matter what you do (rest, lie on your side, drink water etc) THE PAIN DOES NOT GO AWAY!
  4. You may notice a snotty, slimy red/pinkish blob in your underwear (mucous plug, I know gross)
  5. Water break: but just because your water break, it is a possibility you are not actually in labor. However, you want to go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY PAIN OR NOT.
These s/s listed are typically when you want to go to the hospital, and will not be sent home.  However, by all means always go to the hospital or consult with your ob whenever in doubt or you feel something is wrong.
Hope this helps someone out there!

ADHD: The Report Card

threeleadingladies

My oldest is 14 years old, a couple months shy of 15.  We’ve been doing this school thing for 10 years now.  With every new school year, comes the first report card for every kid, but for my son this is never a good experience.

Every 1st marking period for my son means a storm is coming.  EVERY first marking period my son gets the worst report card of the year.  This is always so heartbreaking and disappointing from him and myself because I know he’s capable of so much more.
I know its coming, and believe you me, I’ve tried all the tricks in the books to try and prevent this.
However there are several factors that contribute to this impending storm.
The first being the fact he has parents in two different households with two different opinions of his ADHD condition.  His father feels he don’t need medication and/or therapy to be successful, whereas his the medical PROFESSIONALS  and MYSELF feel and KNOW otherwise. 
This difference of opinions leads to reason number 2 being non-compliance with his medication.  Due to the fact he has his father’s family convincing him he don’t need medication, and the fact he don’t want to take medication, he goes with gravity (down) and stops taking his medicine over the summer (when he’s with dad) and then struggles during the school year.
The lack of compliance with his medication leads to difficulty staying on task in school, completing and turning in assignments, failed test/quizzes, and ultimately a failing report card.
The constant failures in school creates a wall within my son, and lowers his self-esteem of himself to the point where he just give up.  
He hides his bad grades, don’t complete assignments, and never ask for help because he’d rather forget the fact that he has failed, than ask for help to overcome his struggles.
My son has 3 HIGHLY EDUCATED adults available to him for assistance in school.  We go ABOVE AND BEYOND to try and prepare him for school (I’ll write a post about that).  In the past we literally followed behind him like a bird following a bread crumb path to help prevent him from bottoming out.
However, with him being in high school, and on his way into the real world, I refuse to continue to do this.  I need for him to learn how to compensate for his condition, and unfortunately, I feel like him failing will either motivate him or break him.  I pray for the best, but know I can’t always be around to pick up and put together the pieces of the puzzle for him.
My son is highly intelligent, and if he only put forth minimal effort he would have a C average and I need for him to see this.  It’s heartbreaking watching him fail, and fell like he’s a failure.  However, he has to learn to take responsibility for his work, because he is totally capable of doing so, and can verbalize what he needs to do to be successful.  
As always, my first marking period starts off meeting with his teachers AGAIN to address why my son failed, why I was never notified of him failing, and what can we do to prevent him from failing in the future.  After this meeting, every marking period his report card steadily improves until he’s where he should be by the end of the year.
I pray he gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, because then I know he will do something.  This is something my mother would always say.

Breastfeeding: Going Back To Work

threeleadingladies

My goal for breastfeeding is always EXCLUSIVE for at least one year.  In the beginning, it proves to be difficult then gets easier, and once I get the hang of it, guess what?  IT’S TIME TO GO BACK TO WORK!

I don’t have the luxury of being a full-time SAHM, and honestly I don’t think I would want to.  Being a mom living in the US OF A, you will return to work sooner rather than later.  I really wish we had year PAID maternity leaves like other countries in the world.

Anyhoo, if you’re a mom who has to return to work, I’m sure the question “how do I maintain my supply,” crossed your mind several times.

I’m not expert on what a woman should do, and honestly, what works for one woman may not work for the other.  Therefore, this is information on how I managed to make it to 1 year and beyond with my son exclusively feeding him my milk.
1.  I began storing my milk in the early days when my milk first came in.  I did this because typically the body will make way more than baby needs, and I’d have an abundance of milk left over.  So I would pump it and store it.  Doing this also helped cut down on cluster feedings during growth spurts as well.  (I used the Medela Breast Pump to pump my milk)
2. I planned financially to be out of work for the maximum amount of time my job allowed (usually 12 weeks).  The older they are the less you’ll have to pump (usually).

2. When he was only drinking milk (no solid foods), I did my best to mimic his schedule while at work. So in a 12 hour day, I would pump at least 3 times and save the last pump session for when we reunited (and it felt so good).

Engorgement after work (reuniting selfies)

 

3. When he got older and was on solids, I cut back my pumping to 2 sessions and would have dad or whoever was caring for him supplement with watered down baby juice, water, (by 6 months of course) with his meals, and offer snacks in between.  They could give him milk, but no more than 2 bags could be used, because that’s what I was bringing home. Then when I got home again, I would have a full stash of milk for him to feast on.

4. I did try Mother’s Milk herbal tea, to help boost my supply when I was traveling to Disney.  I mainly wanted to have some extra milk for travel and park days.  I must say that tea taste like black licorice (which is disgusting in my opinion), but it did work for me.  I would drink a cup at night, and have excess to pump and store.

5. With my daughter, I was given Reglan for nausea in my early pregnancy and when my milk supply stated dropping I learned this too help increase milk supply and it really did work within 2 to 3 days.

I know other women have tired, the lactation cookies, recommend eating oatmeal, or even drinking a beer to help increase supply.  Some take herbal supplements such as Fenugreek and Milk Thistle supplements and rave about them as well. I personally have never tried any to increases my supply and can’t speak from experience.  I did however have a co-worker who used the supplements, and she still was only putting out a spit’s worth of milk, so again it works differently for everyone.

Overall, my best recommendation for breastfeeding and returning to work is planning from day one, invest in an high quality breast pump, take advantage of excess milk in early days, and try to mimic baby’s schedule when away.  Eventually it get’s easier and you’ll become a pro.  Most of all remember if there’s a will there’s a way, and YOU CAN DO IT!

ADHD: A Typical Day With My Oldest

threeleadingladies

Many people know (or think they know) what ADHD is all about.  There also are people who believe it is a “made up diagnosis” for “lazy” “bad” kids.  However, I will give my testimony to ANYONE willing to listen, it’s REAL, and it’s HEART BREAKING as a mother, and soul crushing for my son.

My Future Politician 

The stress this condition puts on me as a mother of 4 is so overwhelming, I only work weekends to keep my sanity.  I HAVE to be available to my son during the school week from sun up to sun down.

There may be days where he has melt downs in school, and I have to be called or go to school because I’m the only one who can redirect him.  He will get so fixated on one thing (usually a bad grade) and just go over the deep end.  He’ll be rambling, repeating himself over and over again, crying and just falling apart inside.

I wake up and go roam my house and without a doubt, know every room my son has been in.  If I want to know if he took his medicine like he should have, I just walk int he kitchen and look for his medicine bottle to be on the island with a half drunken glass of something sweet.

Just told him I’ll be going to school with him (wonder what he was thinking)

If I want to know if he managed his personal hygiene CORRECTLY (he is still a boy), I go in the bathroom and see if the toothpaste and deodorant has the cap on, and if the brush is NOT where it belongs.

When school let out, if I wonder if he took his medication or dumped it, I simply ask him if he wants something to eat.  WHY, because he never has an appetite if he took his afternoon dose.  His other give away, is when he walks up to my car with a million and one things to say, typically on medication he has about 5 words the whole ride home.

Once we get home from school, I wait for him to get out the car so I can see what he left behind in my car that I’m pretty sure he’ll need for homework.

Every night his step-father or I have to do book bag checks to make sure his work is in their corresponding folders.  Otherwise his book bag will be filled with bent, crumbled, folded papers everywhere but the folders labeled and color coded for each class.  We also spend countless hours doing homework that should take only 1.5 hours top, because he have difficulty follow the directions, or interprets them incorrectly.

Whenever I want to send a child on an errand he is always a last resort because I know he won’t complete the task with entirely or correctly.

I’ll ask him to clean the kitchen and remind him to use the laminated step-by-step list of EXACTLY HOW to clean the kitchen.  I’ll then remind him 3-4 times to go back and check and make sure he followed EVERY DIRECTION CORRECTLY.  And guess what?? The kitchen is never done correctly. He’ll ask me did he follow the directions and I explain to him what steps he miss, and he walks away with defeat.

That smile warms me up! (Just won a basketball tournament with his dad)

Some days, I just want to say yes, because that look in his eyes tears me up inside.  However, I have to be honest with him, because that is what he asks for.  I always put a positive spin on it, and assure him he’ll get it next time.  However, that doesn’t change the fact he feels like he can’t do anything right.  To try and compensate  for this, I try my best to bring out the best in him, to assure him he is great despite his short comings.  He’s an excellent cook, statistician, mathematician, and memory keeper.  On days when I know he’s feeling down, I’ll have him cook dinner, because it always lifts his spirits.  Or I’ll give him a list of things I need to remember and take him on errands with me to remind me.  When I praise him for such a good meal, or tell him, “I don’t know what I’d do without your memory,” the smile and glimmer of hope in his eye is priceless.

The worst part of ADHD is my son being labeled a “lazy” “average” student, when his IQ is off the charts.  I have to fight with teachers, administrators, principals, and even superintendents to get my son the services he needs to be successful in school. The way they treat my son does nothing for his self esteem and makes me have to work ten times as hard to assure him he’e just as smart if not smarter than every student in his class.

While it may seem like I’m complaining, I’m not.  I love my son with every breath in my body, and accept him for who he is.  I know he will one day learn to compensate for his condition and be a very successful man in society. I just intended to allow people to see a glimpse of a disability that is not seen by the naked eye.

Breastfeeding:The Only Way I Could Touch My Son

threeleadingladies

I was a young mom (16 to be exact), and with my first son I had no desire to breastfeed until it was too late.  Four years later, I had another son who was born 31 weeks premature.

My son 2 weeks old

My maternal instinct told me from birth he would be alright.  Almost 24 hours later when I was able to see him for the first time, my heart was broken.  Seeing my baby hooked up too so many tubes, contraptions and devices, I was devastated.  
I don’t remember much about my son being in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit, spot for tiny babies), but I vividly remember feeling absolutely NO CONNECTION WITH MY SON.  

3 years later

I was told when and if I could hold him, and sometimes I wasn’t allowed to hold him.  I was told I had to put him back only minutes after picking him up.  When I did hold him, I wasn’t able to cuddle him, burry my nose in his neck, or hold him close to me and smell his hair.  I had to hold him like he was a piece of porcelain that would break if I made one false move.
In my heart, I was falling apart inside because I  did not feel any bond with my son.  When I went back to my room, my room mate was pumping milk for her baby that too was in the NICU.  After talking with her, I figured, “that’s the least I can do for him, since I can’t do anything else.”  So together we pumped for our half baked babies.
I began pumping and quickly learned I was a human cow!  I made so much milk, the hospital told me not to bring anymore in for him!  Seeing my milk go through that feeding tube into his body helped me begin to bond with my son from a distance.  Watching my son grow, and come off breathing machines, feeding tubes, heart monitors and home into my arms all thanks to MY MILK, was priceless.
My son, The Prince, is almost 11 years old today, and to anyone on the outside looking in would never know the obstacles he had to overcome to be where he is today.  I know my decision to breastfeed him helped make all the difference.  Whether your baby is full term, or half baked like my baby, I strongly feel if nothing else breastfeeding brings about a bond between mother and child no one can take away.

My son and I 10 years later

YES I STILL Breastfeed My 14 Month Old

threeleadingladies

My goal for breastfeeding has been to nurse for one year and be done with it.  For my daughter, mission accomplished.  However, for my last son, he’s not being a good sport about giving up his boo-boo.

The no shoe bandit awaiting his mama!

I have read countless article, posts, statuses etc about the hurtful looks, comments, and stares woman get from other people when they nurse beyond the infancy age.  I have to admit, I even asked my co-worker when was she going to stop nursing her son who was almost 3.  I promise I was asking out of curiosity, and not out of disgust.  However, not until this weekend, did I realize how even a innocent question such as mine, can make a mom feel…less than supported.

This weekend at work, I did not have a full schedule, so I went into my office to wait around to see if I could be of any assistance (I was feeling like I was stealing money).  I ended up waiting for almost 2 hours past when my day in the field typically ends.  I went to my supervisor and explained to her, I really needed to get going whether it be home or to another client’s house because my breast were full and I was getting uncomfortable.  Her reply was, “OMG, you’re STILL BREASTFEEDING?” Then the other ladies in the office asked, “How old is he?” I replied, “Almost 14 months,” and the room fell silent.

I appreciate the fact, if they didn’t have anything nice to say, the didn’t say anything at all, but I have to admit, it would have been nice to have one person say something reassuring.  I immediately became defensive and began making excuses such as he’s allergic to milk, and MANY FOODS, and he’s my baby, and then I had an epiphany.  I told them, “My milk is better than any cows milk, and he can have it as long as my body will make it.”  Exited stage left, went home to my son who was eagerly awaiting his bounty.

While there remarks were unwarranted, they did not get me to a point where I wanted to start a petition or become an advocate.  I was just writing this because I’ve never experienced it, and hope those who read this understand that no matter the intention, when questioning a bf mother about her extended session, do realize we may get defensive, and if you don’t have anything supportive to say, well….

Thanks for listening!

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Overwhelmed With Breastfeeding?

threeleadingladies

Everyone rants and raves about how wonderful and beautiful breastfeeding is.  However, no one speaks about the DEMAND of breastfeeding.

I am in total agreement that breastfeeding is one of the best experiences I have experienced with my children being babies.  I love the bonding moments of their little fingers exploring my face, looking into my eyes with pure love, twirling their little fingers around my hair, taking breaks to coo in conversation with me.  Yes these are all moments I will cherish for as long as my memory permits, and I’m grateful I had the opportunity, support and patience to go exclusive for over 1 year.
(and still going).

Nursing moment in the early days…

DESPITE all the lovely moments we share nursing our little ones, we forget to take a BREAK.  Breastfeeding is one the most demanding events of motherhood, especially in the early days.  EVERYTHING, I repeat, EVERYTHING YOU DO WILL REVOLVE AROUND BREASTFEEDING!

Every move you make without baby, you have to anticipate emptying the boo-boos.  Oh, and yes, you NEED to make moves WITHOUT BABY!

 

Me at the Mall shopping for…Wait for it….ME!!! ALL BY MYSELF!

Remember these rules:

1. Everyone, that includes YOU, needs a break and me time.  Baby napping does not count.  You have to physically get out, about, and away from baby.  HOW YOU ASK?

2. SOLICIT HELP! Remember all those who visited when baby was born, offering a helping hand whenever you needed? TAKE THEM UP ON IT!  (in-laws, aunts, uncles, sister, brother, cousin, spouse, mailman (jk) )

3. NEVER feel embarrassed, ashamed, or like a failure for WANTING OR NEEDING a break.  It’s how we keep our sanity.  You have to remember despite all the hats you wear, you are still YOU.

4. Plan for breaks on a recurring basis so those in your life can plan as well, and help you accordingly.  Plus it gives you something to look forward to.

5. ALWAYS take your breast pump with you when traveling without baby.  You never know what life will bring you.  Engorgement can cause all types of problems besides discomfort.

6.  Remember, it’s only temporary, and breastfeeding will not last forever.  Enjoy the time and ability to do so,  but always TAKE time for YOU! Your baby needs you happy and healthy!

My oldest baby 14 years later…so I cherish these moments because the time flies!

Days Off From School For My Family Are….

threeleadingladies

THE BEST!!!!!

Most people are inconvenienced when their children have days off from school.

Whelp not me!  For I have the best of both worlds!  My kids not having school means 5 GREAT THINGS TO ME!

1. I GET TO SLEEP IN (running around doing a happy dance)

2. I get to spend some quality time with my kids (cooking breakfast, making a craft or just cuddling on the couch watching tv.)

3. The “SCHOOL BUS” is parked and that saves money and gas.  None of my children have every ridden a school bus, I have transported each and every one of them to school in different districts, to different schools (as many as 3) for over 10 years now!

4. I eat WAY WAY WAY better…shoot I EAT PERIOD! When I cook for my kids, I’m very mindful of including fruits and veggies, and I make sure I/we cook 3 meals that day, therefore the likelihood of me skipping a meal is absent.

5. My diva gets to dress down!  She loves getting girly and has such limits when she wears a uniform everyday.

With that in mind, I’m looking forward to our next sleep in day off from school!